- Opening bottles that my mother cannot
- Improvising songs about my dogs eating their own poop
- Combining water, sugar and Kool-aid packets
- Finishing other people's dinners
- Swiffer-dusting
- Assembling and disassembling puzzles
- Explaining the difference between alligators and crocodiles
- Writing in the past tense
- Candymaking
- Leaving a voicemail message twice as long as it should be
This should be your joke resume. It wouldn't be half as bad as some of the ones we saw at Conan.
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